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Friday, December 20, 2013

I Am Ashamed

TBT here:  I forgot what Skeeter looked like in detail.

I went looking at the first few month's posts of the blog out of curiosity to see how the cats wrote then.  Then I went forward to the months before Skeeter left for the Bridge when I posted many pictures.  I shouldn't have done that.  I discovered I forgot his furcolors.  I was remembering him looking like Marley does now.

I misremembered how fully orange his head was, how broadly white the chest, how small white his paws were.    Do we forget so easily after only 5 years? 

I feel like I have cheated on Skeeter by getting a diffrent-patterned orange/white cat.  Marley is a great cat, one of the best.  It is of course not his fault in any way.  I just forgot how Skeeter looked...

19 comments:

Brian said...

That is okay, the mind might play tricks but the heart remembers!

Fuzzy Tales said...

Time does erase those details, yes--IMO. But definitely Brian is right, the heart remembers. I don't remember clearly what Chumley looked like--I mean, I know generally, but I'm sure I've forgotten some of his markings. But the love--that I don't forget. Ditto for Annie. Though Annie I remember more clearly--it hasn't been as long as Chum.

(((Hugs)))

Cheysuli and gemini said...

Our eyes may no longer see clearly but our heart always does.

Flynn said...

Time does dim the details, but never the love. You haven't cheated on Skeeter, he was one of a kind as is Marley. I remembered Kitty Yumbum's markings wrong too. She has more white under her chin and on her chest when I was remembering her only having a white belly.
Forgetting details is nothing to be ashamed of.

The Cat From Hell said...

TBT, you are not alone. I too find all the tuxies I have shared my life with "seem" to look the same in my memory, but I also remember all their differences and idiosyncrasies and those have not merged.
Nellie's Mommy

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

Don't feel bad - my human doesn't remember the exact patterns of the calico fur of the cat before me... but she remembers important stuff like the way she would lie on top of her so their hearts were joined, and how loudly she purred.

The Cat From Hell said...

Oh Marley,Iza and Ayla, me has gived yous the Blog of the Year Award! Stop by and picks it up!
Kisses
Nellie

Megan said...

I have photos of the last two cats I have owned on the wall above my desk. They were both tuxies, but with quite different markings. I find it of great comfort to be able to look up and see these photos. But even though I look at these photographs every day, I know that I wouldn't be able to describe their markings perfectly if I needed to. That doesn't surprise me - those kinds of things aren't especially important. I'm someone who can spend several hours having a long lunch with you and 10 minutes after we've parted company, struggle to recall what you were wearing. But I don't forget what you said, how you demonstrated your character and how I felt about you.

I think it's comforting for the mental image you have of Skeeter to start to blend with the current day presence of Marley because it builds the joy of having been a TBT to cats over many years.

Megan
Sydney, Australia

Sometimes, Cats Herd You said...

Time can soften the images of the cats that came before the same way that it erodes sharp edges of the pain of their not being here. But even if you can't remember the exact details of his fur, you remember how he made you feel, and how he felt with you. That's the biggest gift you share, and nothing will ever take that away.

ANGEL ABBY said...

Experts say the way we remember things is not the same way every time we remember it. It's like a different path is written in the brain with each memory. What is important is what you feel in your heart and spirit about Skeeter not what color his fur was. Although I understand your feeling behind that and why that is important.I know that even 130 days later there are things about Abby that are growing hazy. I hate it. I HATE IT!!! Marley is a great orange boy and Skeeter was a great orange boy and they both will always occupy a big part of your heart and they won't care if you remember exactly where each of their colors began and ended. In the final analysis it is what is felt in the heart that matter most.

Angel Ginger Jasper said...

Brian is so right details are not important because the important details are in your heart and always will be. Don't get upset because Skeeter will always be in your heart,

Katnip Lounge said...

Mommy sometimes calls me "Dusty" by accident...that's the Angel who helped my find My True Home to live; I take it as a compliment that she loves me just as much. Love is all the same color...

Katnip Lounge said...

oops--that was me, Rupert xx

Sweet Purrfections said...

Your heart remembers and that's what counts.

Katie Isabella said...

Skeeter will, as everyone has said, live on in perfection in your heart. Just as my babies do..Blackie, Hopping John, the first Katie, Admiral, Ex Caliber, my woofie Jack. All safely in my heart.

Jans Funny Farm said...

Enjoy Marley for who he is. He is not responsible for fading memory. Our memories fade quicker as we age but our hearts never forget and that's what is important.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Aw, TBT, don't worry bout that. TW feels really bad sometimes because she kinda forgets zackly what her Mom and Dad looked like, or how their voices sounded. She a-members them the way they are in her heart and that's what's important! When she thinks back on all her kitties, she knows she's probably a-membering details wrong--but she loved them all madly and they knew it every minute! You know, as the Human's age, they get just the eensiest bit forgetful ;-) TBT, you LOVED Skeeter and he knew it every single day of his life and he still knows it at the bridge. It's okay that you, like all the Humans of a certain age, are just the eensiest bit befuddled. XOXOXO
Marley is the delightfully goofy boy who brings joy to your life every day now and who you have learned to love. Skeeter is thrilled you are giving such a happy home to a kitty who needs and deserves one!

Pretinha said...

Tenho certeza que Skeeter não ficaria triste com você, e Marley está contente de ter uma família, então não se preocupe! As vezes trocamos os nomes dos nossos gatinhos.

Kjelle Bus said...

I bet my mom-person would have forgotten wich color that Sixten had if it had been moore than one color :)