Wednesday, December 19, 2012

A Golden Oldie

We thought this would be a good time to re-post something from a few years ago.  One of our best efforts...

How To Decorate a Christmas Tree, With Cats

1. Put tree in stand, set upright.
2. When cats climb tree and knock it over, set upright again.
3. Decorate tree.
4. When cats knock off lower glass ornaments, sweep floor of glass shards.
5. Move all glass ornaments to top half of tree.
6. When cats knock off soft ornaments from bottom of tree, sweep floor of shredded cloth and fluff.
7. Move all ornaments to top half of tree.
8. When cats climb tree and knock it over again, set upright again.
9. Sweep floor of glass shards.
10. Place a large sheet of plywood on floor, screw tree stand to plywood.
 11. Try to move plywood and tree into place.
 12. Unscrew tree stand when you realize you have screwed the stand through plywood and into the floor.
 13. Build small base under plywood.
 14. Reattach tree stand to plywood.
 15. Since bare plywood looks ugly, cover with a bright sheet.
 16. Leave the room to get presents to put under tree.
 17. When you return, admire the way the cats have pulled off the sheet and have dragged it into the next room.
 18. Staple sheet onto plywood base.
 19. Place presents under tree.
 20. Leave the room to hang wreath on door.
 21. Listen with admiration while cats shred wrapping paper off presents.
 22. Tape gift wrap best as possible.
 23. Spray “Cat-Off” on all presents.
 24. Remove cat from top of tree.
 25. Fashion tree trunk guard of chicken wire after lopping off branches from lower half of tree.
 26. Go looking for extension cord to plug in tree lights.
 27. Upon return, undo chicken wire to free cat that has somehow gotten trapped inside it.
 28. Redo trunk guard and crimp top to prevent cat re-entry.
 29. Watch cats commence to shredding the wrapping paper sprayed with “Cat-Off”.
 30. Build chicken wire enclosure all around tree.
 31. Put away tools.
 32. Upon return, observe cat inside chicken wire enclosure crying for release.
 33. Disassemble chicken wire enclosure.
 34. Remove now-sleeping cat.
 35. Disassemble chicken wire tree trunk guard.
 36. Remove decorations from tree.
 37. Remove tree from stand and toss outside.
 38. Disassemble plywood base.
 39. Put presents in attic.
 40. Visit catless neighbor.
 41. Admire their beautiful tree and take pictures.
 42. Post tree pictures on blog.
 43. Email all your non-visiting relatives pictures of “your tree”.
 44. Especially if they have cats...
 45. Tell VISITING relatives that you “decided to donate the tree to  a school this year”.
 46. Gather up all your cats, give them scritches and treats, and tell them you love them (which is true).

Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Wonderful New Year!


Mariodacat said...

OMC - We are laughing so hard over here. What a picture you paint with just words! Merry Christmas!

Pretinha said...

HEhe nada consegue nos deter!
É melhor aceitar isso rapidamente para evitar trabalhos extra. Adoramos!

Brian said...

I had not seen that one, but that is soooooooo funny...and true!

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

MOL! That's great!!!

Cole Cat said...

We LOVE this! Hadn't thought of chicken wire before *looks around for some* Purrs....

ABBY said...

All so true.
We are a bunch of senior kitties so we don't do much damage. But Mom decided to only put up small (table top) trees and we don't bother them at all.

The Meezers or Billy said...

MOL - this is the funniest thing ever!!!

The Island Cats said...

Haha! We love this!!

Andrea and the Celestial Kitties said...

MOL, that is awesome!

Oui Oui said...

We had a really good laugh! We put our presents in the bathroom, and no wrapping with bows. We now put up a table top tree so it can't be climbed and the mom has some beautiful antique ornaments she hasn't seen in decades. Life with cats! Dogs were never this problematic.

Shaggy and Scout said...

This is a gem!!!

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

Ha ha ha! The Human says that once, loooong ago, when she was in college she took her mama cat and two 3-month old kittens home to her parents' for the holidays. They'd been there for about an hour when the three working together remarkably well for such young'uns, knock the tree completely over. Her mother Was.Not.Amused. But everyone, including the tree, survived. I guess it musta been the Christmas Spirit, MOL!

Prancer Pie said...

MOL MOL MOL!!! This is so true!

michico*Adan said...

A great one!!!!
This is so so true~~

Maxwell, Faraday and Allie said...

HAAAAAAA! #43! #45!

Eric and Flynn said...

MOL! We haven't seen that before. It is hilarious.

Cara n Crew said...

mol! all too true :D

Pip, Smidgen, Minnie, Hollie

Teri and the cats of Curlz and Swirlz said...

This year, Teri just decorated our Cat Tree, hahameow!