Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Time Passes Hard Sometimes

TBT here...

In the earliest days
When the cat-blogs were new,
I knew ALL the cats,
and the losses were few.

As the cat-blogs increased
and the days sped away,
My friends all grew older,
And I'm sorry to say,

That the losses grew frequenter
My heart became weakier
By seeing some friends leave this Earth
Almost monthier.

And then it was weekly,
It seemed so routine
To see a good friend
O'er The Bridge it did seem.

And now it seems daily!

And I stop this rhyme.  It is becoming so hard to hear of one friend or at least known cat after another passing over the Bridge.  I can hardly bear it.  I can only leave what seem to me to be such inadequate few words of comfort.  I sit and cry each and every time, but my comments seems so lame, saying so much less than I want to say, but not knowing how to say more.

I (and we all) know how much the loss of the dear friends mean to each and every one who has lost them, and I apologize for not being able to create a grand and loving farewell to all the kitties who mean so much to me (and especially their Beings) and deserve better comments from me when they travel to the Bridge. 

I can't type through the tears.

How creative can you be when you just can't see the keyboard anymore?  And remembering your own losses while trying to think of good words to those good Beings sufferring a new loss?

I'm a guy, and I don't have much experience at this.  When I was younger and a friend lost a loved one, it was a tentative "tap on the shoulder and I'm sorry, dude".  That was enough between us.  But put into words as a comment on a blog, it sounds so lame.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I wish I could say more specific things to each person who has lost a beloved cat about that ONE cat and the loss you are feeling, but I can't.  I keep having to push the keyboard away to save it from the tears that are falling like rain.

The tears like rain are what I can offer.  You won't see them, but they are there.  Constant, unstopping, a tissue-box full.  I can't show them over the computer, but they are here,  So know that when I mention our "Best Purrs of Comfort", there is a lot more behind the simple words.

I am crying with you, for you, of you, to you, and knowing your pain of loss.  I know (as most of us but the luckiest do) the pain.  Just forgive me if I can't put THAT part in words at the right time as well as I would like to.

I listen to Connie Francis singing "I Will Wait For You".  I'd give a link but it just keeps going to some amateur youtube video...


For Eric...  Forever...


Mr Puddy said...

Mom and me feel the same way as you TBT, but we force ourselves ( sound silly but we did ) till we come here. And Our tear just broken hard and harder !
I know him for too long, day by day till now I couldn't cope well. I try to be strong but I'm not ! Just feel the same way as you do. I think I stop now. Too sad to keep going
Thanks to post this .

Mr Puddy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian said...

Such awful, awful, awful news. We area all so shocked and so very, very sad.

Fuzzy Tales said...

It's a beautiful post, and I don't think words are adequate for deep grief. Even being female doesn't mean that one magically can comfort via written or spoken word. There are so many times in our lives that feeling is beyond thought.

Eric's loss...I found out less than an hour ago and have been in shock--and yes, bawling my eyes out here at my work cubicle--since. His passing is a huge, huge loss to us all, especially Jackie and her husband and Flynn, of course. But he's touched us all, as have so many other Beings.

This is one of the most difficult aspects to an on-line community. The CB is so big now that it's impossible to keep up with everyone, but even when those we don't know well pass, it still triggers our own grief, because as you wrote, we've all been there.

I think all we can do is send loving "purrs" and "purrayers", send universal peace and blessings to all.

Katie Isabella said...

Mark, you made me cry again because I feel the same way. And any words do seem lame when you know the pain the parents are going thru with the loss of their furbabies. Eric and Flynn are special to me too. Eric's loss was like a bludgeoning blow on the back of my head. I didn't expect that. His pawrents and Flynn are so saddened today and will be for a long time.

Mariodacat said...

Mark, we are shedding tears right along with you. We've only blogged for 3 years, but have been on Twitter for 5+ years. No matter which social media we use, we keep losing our special friends. But we have to remember even tho it's hard on us, it's harder on the family, and they need to be surrounded by those of us who know what it's like. So keep up the good work and step away from the computer now and then on rough days.

Prancer Pie said...

Our Mommy is crying again, too. So many this month and the great Eric has re-opened our new wound over Princess. (Sweet handsome Sauce over at da tabbies of trout towne passed yesterday, too.) ((hugs))

Sparkle the Designer Cat said...

TBT, I think every human can totally relate to you... and maybe some of us kitties too. All these losses are hard, and some are harder than others. Eric was one of our oldest blogging friends and my human and I are so very sad right now.

ABBY said...

I have known (and I feel very much like I do know Eric and Flynn and Jackie and Ivor) Eric since they started blogging. I have said it in the past and I find it truer even now. When we started blogging we never considered it anything beyond a way to journal our everyday adventures. WE thought it was fun and happy and joyful. Never once did we stop to consider how fragile and short the lives of our furry companions would be. Never once did it occur to me that we would stopped in our tracks with heartbreak and sorrow. But, it has happened over and over and over again. Our aging felines pass away so soon, too soon, leaving each family sad and heartbroken...and it leaves us sadden and heartbroken. I do believe that even when the times get bad, like right now, to have a support group like we do, that allows each grieving "parent" a place to express themselves helps to heal them too....and us as well. You wrote a very powerful post and every word is true, thank you for sharing your thoughts and feelings today. We all cry together.

Jacqueline said...

I feel the same way and was touched deeply by your post, Mark...We have lost far too many sweet friends, especially in the last few weeks; these babies are the true definition of unconditional love and their loss is always a devastating sorrow...I am heartbroken over precious Eric's passing=he was such a special boy who captured my heart years ago...Thank you for sharing=our hearts are the same...your friend...J

Megan said...

Mark - thank you for your post. It is very hard, especially as there are now so many cats blogging regularly. And although the words in a comment on a blog may seem inadequate, I think that they can be a source of great comfort. It's wonderful to know that there are other people 'out there' who have formed a deep bond with their cats and who can imagine the depth of grief felt by the death of a beloved pet. It's not a topic that is much discussed or acknowledged in offices or other workplaces, and having the grief acknowledged, and accepted and supported by people that you know understand what you're going through must help a lot. So, as hard as it is, I think we need to continue to leave our inadequate comments - they're our best way of offering and providing support.

Sydney, Australia

The Island Cats said...

TBT, the mom knows how you feel...words just never seem like enough...

Sometimes she says she wants to stop blogging because she becomes too attached to the other kitties and when they go to the Bridge she feels like she's lost one of her own. But then she remembers the saying...it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all...

We sure will miss Eric...more than words can say.

Oui Oui said...

We feel the same way, and we haven't been blogging nearly as long as you. It really tears at one's heart. And we cry with each loss.

Sweet Purrfections said...

We are very sad about our furriend Eric leaving for the bridge.

We think you said it very well. Losing Eric today brought back memories of Sweet Praline and the tears have been flowing.

Derby, Ducky said...

Well said TBT, but now mum has leaky eyes again.

The Indulged Furries said...

Mark, what you wrote today is beautful and so very true. For many years I was deeply involved in a diabetic pet support group, and each loss, sometimes several daily, was heart-wrenching. All we can do is show compassion to our friends and hope that our words of comfort will help ease the grief of losing a family member.

Tina T-P said...

Oh, no, I did not know that Eric had gone to the bridge - how very sad.

I think that you hit the proverbial nail on the head with what you wrote today. and sometimes, I think just the fact that you do stop and leave a short note of condolence is so comforting to the beans that are left behind. I don't know too many of the cat bloggers, but love the ones I do. But if they have lost a friend, I have lost a friend, and I always try to leave a note for the family - I think it is always appreciated. T.

Janet Blue said...

Oh, our mom says that she knows how you feel. She has seen so many kitties go to the RB even in her short time blogging. Eric's passing really, really hurt. She said that she felt like her heart was being squeezed. It doesn't take much time to become especially fond of all the blogging kitties in cyber-space. And some like Eric are extra special. Just know that you are not alone in your sadness. 

Purrs and hugs from the kitties at www.thecatonmyhead.com, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista Josette

Eric and Flynn said...

Mark, this is such a beautiful and thoughtful post and I thank you so much for it. Ivor and I are devastated at losing Eric. We thought he would recover once he got his appetite back. It appears that he most likely had a mild stroke that made his tail droop, then when he became unsteady on his legs he had most likely had another one. There could have been others that weren't apparent. We are just so grateful that he seemed better on Monday afternoon and enjoyed a short walk in the field even chasing Flynn at one point. He came back and slept on the bed. When he awoke he was agitated and had obviously had another worse stroke. I don't think he was in pain but frightened and confused. We took him to the vet late that night and discussed his options which were all poor. There was a strong chance that he would suffer a saddle thrombus and there is no way we could chance him dying screaming in agony. We let our beautiful boy gently drift off to sleep in our arms with love and kisses to help him on his way. We are absolutely heartbroken. He is now buried in his favourite sunspot by the "purrison fence".
Jackie and Ivor.
Sorry, I didn't realise I had gone on so long, but once I started I just kept going.

Shaggy and Scout said...

Mark, you spoke for me as well.
Jackie's comment above has made me cry again. So many dear good friends. I am reminded that Scoobys anniversary is around the corner...April 1. A year already. Seems like it was yesterday. -Lynne

The Cat From Hell said...

Great poem! So very eloquent.
Wes keeps getting leaky eyes too! And so may has left us this spring.

Spitty-the-Kitty said...

When we started blogging, we never gave thought to how hard the losses would be. But that is part of life too, and the sadness does give way to joy again.
The older the Human gets, the more she gets all goopy and philosophical in a sort of "circle-of-life" kind of way. She was looking at pictures of a friend's new kittens today and thinking about some of the kitties who have gone to the Bridge lately, and reflecting on how things change and how Humans and kitties come to terms with loss.

She was thinking about her Big Boys Mr. Teeth and Clarkie, who were very loving brothers for many many years. Then one day, Mr. Teeth went to the Bridge. The Human was devastated, and Clarkie was sad for a while, maybe a week or so, and then he just stepped right up to be the only ManCat and he was perfectly happy again. And the Human thought to herself, Huh. I think there's something to learn here about loving in the moment and accepting change when it happens.

Well, we dunno. The Human still gets all leaky-eyed and stuff, but she tries to remember that the earth continues to spin and life ends and begins and ends and begins every day, and we have to find love and joy in the moments we can.

Cory said...

TBT, we totally understand. It has been hard on mom, especially when cats who she has come to love as her own leave for The Bridge. We did not understand when we started blogging that we would become a part of such a large cat family, loving all the cats so much.


Jonesie says that you are very smart...she is sitting in our garden bed where we have onions and garlic growing!