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Wednesday, September 19, 2018

Meow Like A Pirate Day

Cap'n "Mousiedeath" Marley here:  We be sailin the refurbished 'Cat Tree' sloop this season, headin fer fair winds after the hurriwinds be spent.  We be 'spectin a lot of ships leavin the ports now.

We trade in Nip.  Meaning ya "trade" us yer Nip and we wont shave yer scurvy heads.  We got electric razors an we dont be shy 'bout using them!  An ye'll give us yer mousies too iffen ya dont want yer ears bit!  An mebbe shave yer tails too...

I gaze forward seekin fer a flag on the horizon.  First Mate Ayla cats the Poop Deck  (an she better not up there, cuz me precious cabin is directly below).  Crewmate  Iza is scouring the belowdecks, cuz she tried a mutiny ta other day.  Iffen we be not so short of paws, she'd been leashed ta the mast overnight, I be settled fer spritzin her several times an makin her keep her paws wet in soapy water fer a day.
We be figured a trick ta lure the Nip-Mercantcats close.  We hoist the distress flag and have our sails a-painted like they bein ripped an all from storm an set a bit flappy.  THAT gets the lubbers close.  So when they be close an all concerned-like, Ayla tightens the sails and we be on them like a shark smellin Stinkey Goodness in their wake!

The looks on their faces is t'nough make yer sides split as we toss our fancy iron claws ta be catchin their gun'els and pull them close as wrestlin krakens!  We hit their decks as puffed up as Meowlaween cats and they all fall on their sides...

So be warned iffen ya see us comin. 

Our shipsong:   (To the tune of 'Sixteen Tons' by Tennessee Ernie Ford)

If ya see us coming, better sail away.
If ya dont, yer gonna have a very bad day.
Our left claws are sharp, and the right ones are sharper,
If ya dare ta fight, you'll end up damper.

We got a big full sink aboard our ship.
We'll make ya throw yerself into it!
You'll stay there all day til ya bark like a dog,
And ya wont get kibbles nor no Nip-grog!

An when we let ya out, we'll set ya free 
On a island with mousies bigger than thee.
If ya scuppers get off, it will stay in yer head
Ta think of the crew of the 'Cat-tree' with dread!