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Monday, March 02, 2020
The Cat In The Hat as interpreted in “The Fantastic Four” style”:
The sun did not shine enough for Galacticus to see the planet.
It was too wet for Dr Doom to come out in his iron armor.
Submariner actually hated rain (it felt weird to be pelted with droplets of water).
The Mole Man was sipping fungus tea underground.
The Skrulls and the Kree were fighting their unending war somewhere, but not here.
The Watchers were watching.
All was peaceful.
Mr Fantastic was bored. He had solved every science question in the universe but how to make The Thing normal.
Sue Storm was being invisible (bad hair day).
The Torch can’t fly in the rain.
The Thing wanted to be normal and was always bugging Mr Fantastic about that.
So Mr Fantastic decided on a new idea. If he split The Thing into pieces with his new “Dividerator” (purchased from a Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz),
one Thing might be “normal”.
And so he did. With the Dividerator, he got The Thing back to Not The Thing and there were 2 small versions of the old Thing left over.
Ben was thrilled to be normal again. He named the smaller parts Thing 1 and Thing 2.
But when Ben looked in a mirror, he discovered he was a 4’ Cat.
Mr Fantastic shrugged his shoulders and said “one never knows” about experiments. But being a Cat was better than being The Thing. And he had 2 little sidekicks... Life was good. And the 2 small Things loved being alive.
So he thought about what to do. Maybe surprise Dr Doom. Maybe catch The Hulk as Bruce Banner. But as he was walking around Yancey Street with his 2 little former selves at his side, he saw a couple of kids left alone sitting on their doorstep, bored. So he thought, “maybe I and my little clones could cheer them up".
So he put on a strange hat he found on the sidewalk (Fitted over his identical hat), introduced himself (remember he looked like a cat). And he was a good person (safe and innocent), happy to be free of his former self.
They had nice fun (though the goldfish complained a lot). Messed up the house a bit. But eventually, the parents were coming home. So he ordered his Thing1 and Thing2 to clean up the mess. And barely in the nick of time, all was well in the house and Ben Grimm and his 2 little Things were were gone out the back door. It was as if nothing had happened.
And the children remembered the Cat In The Hat and loved cats forever and ever and ever!
The girl became a famous cat disease researcher and solved many problems. The boy became a Vet next door to his sister, happy at his work of caring for unhappy, injured and sick kitties (and woofies and other animals of course) with unending loving and nurturing.
And it meant nothing to them that their address was on Mulligan Street, that their property owner was named Leo Orax , or that the lawyer in the office next to them was Y. Turtle...
Happy Dr Seuss Day...